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2008.06.25

Comments

Alyssa

We have a state of the union every year. I took over duties as the CFO many years ago. My husband I didn't merge our finances for the first couple of years we were married but when we relocated across the country it was just easier to merge stuff. We have three accounts - Yours, Mine and Ours.

Then we have savings. It's pretty easy and the toughest conversation was the first we had when I was like 23 and laid bare my massive credit card debt, my student loan debt and gods only know what else. After that, it got much better and we talked quite literally about our attitudes about money.

Now it's just not a big issue. I don't think we've fought about money ever. In fact, our first fight about money is probably due - I want to do a lavish vacation in Europe and he wants to do something more modest.

amanda

I think a good starter topic for couples is talking about how they were raised in regards to money -- how did your parents spend on gifts for Christmas? Did they take out loans for things or pay cash? Did you get an allowance? How much did you know about their finances? Do you wish you knew more or less? How did they spend when it came to consumer stuffs: clothing, cars, beauty, etc. How did they talk to you about setting up savings accounts and credit cards?

I know for us the root of our individual financial insecurities and blind spots is rooted in how our parents dealt with money and what they did or didn't teach us. A lot of our thoughts about money from childhood are just not very mature and are based on incomplete information -- it's pretty important to turn over these money myths and boogie-monsters and figure out what the truth is.

amanda

I think a good starter topic for couples is talking about how they were raised in regards to money -- how did your parents spend on gifts for Christmas? Did they take out loans for things or pay cash? Did you get an allowance? How much did you know about their finances? Do you wish you knew more or less? How did they spend when it came to consumer stuffs: clothing, cars, beauty, etc. How did they talk to you about setting up savings accounts and credit cards?

I know for us the root of our individual financial insecurities and blind spots is rooted in how our parents dealt with money and what they did or didn't teach us. A lot of our thoughts about money from childhood are just not very mature and are based on incomplete information -- it's pretty important to turn over these money myths and boogie-monsters and figure out what the truth is.

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