Penny Wiseacre

The undeniably effective tyranny of counting calories

Because I am the kind of dumb that refuses to believe things like opportunity costs apply to me -- "You mean I can't work and freelance and improve our latest fixer-upper and run a house like clockwork and rebalance my 401(k) and be an excellent person/wife/mother/daughter/friend/volunteer in 168 hours a week? Why on Earth not?" -- I am now paying attention to my health.

Sure, I could adjust my expectations for what I get done in a day, but I'd rather adjust how I feel when trying to do it. This little bit has been stuck in my head since I read it back in Sept 2012:

Just before the show started production, Malcolm in the Middle showrunner Linwood Boomer told [Mindy Kaling] to get in the best shape of her life. “At first I thought he meant, ‘Oh, as an actress, get in great shape,’” Kaling says. “But he was like, ‘No. No. No. Get in the best shape of your life because you are going to be so tired and broken by the show.’ I was like, ‘Okay, Linwood. I think I’ll be okay. I did eight years at The Office. I was fine.’ And the first week of shooting it was the middle of August and I had a full on, winter-level cold. And I was like, ‘Linwood was right. I need to start getting into Linda Hamilton-in-T2-level shape to do this show.’ There’s no coincidence. I mean, I look at Tina [Fey] and she looks so sinewy and strong. And even Lena [Dunham] now, when I see her she’s just this compact little thing. Maybe a more cynical person would think it was for something else, but I truly don’t believe both of those women are as wiry and in shape as they for simply cosmetic reasons. I think it’s because they need to be strong and fit and alert for their shows. I can’t go to sleep at 4 a.m. on a Friday night and wake up at 2:30 like I was doing for so many years.”

It took a while, but it sunk in: I need to be in showrunner shape to handle being in my 40s and doing the whole work and freelance and improve our latest fixer-upper and run a house like clockwork and rebalance my 401(k) and be an excellent person/wife/mother/daughter/friend/volunteer in 168 hours a week thing.

So I'm working on it.

Because I find people who carry on about their healthy habits to be unbearably tedious and/or oblivious to their privilege and/or smug, I'll spare you all the laundry list of habits I've developed and effects they've had ... except for one.

I log everything I eat, and I do so with the intent of not exceeding a certain number of calories pe day. I use Lose It!, mostly because it's got both a mobile app and a website, so there's no excuse not to look up or enter food.  And hoo boy, does the act of logging my food inflame my most Type A, apple-polishing personality traits. It is like the observer effect, only with food: Since I know I'm being watched (by a website), I make better choices. Heaven forfend I blow past my daily calorie allotment! Ooooh, imagine my shame if "My Daily Plate" report did not have both the vegetables and the fruits colored in! The website will judge me. There will be a permanent record of my failure!

Of course, this is exactly why you log your food: To dispel all the justifications and fuzzy thinking about what you're cramming in your Dorito-hole, and make eating a more mindful activity.

However, there is one unwelcome side effect for me. I have a general calorie range for each meal I eat. And as a result, when I see something like "The Shamrock Shake is back for a limited time!" I don't think, "Aww, yeah, time for the annual minty chemical treat!" Now, I'm like, "Six hundred and sixty calories? THAT IS LUNCH. For that I can have 16 ounces of spinach-pineapple-greek-yogurt smoothie and a giant green salad with two cups of sliced strawberries and two ounces of gorgonzola! And I'll have wiped out my fruit and vegetable goals for the day!"

This kind of thinking is grim, unfun ... and weirdly addictive.

Please promise me you'll effect an intervention if I become the type of person who claims avocado mashed up with cocoa powder is "just as good as" an actual brownie. Please. All calories are equal but some are more tasty (and worth it) than others.

What you can do so that others might eat

I am sure those of you who are news junkies have read the same appalling statistics over and over today: 53% of all babies born in the U.S. rely on WIC to meet their full nutritional needs, and WIC is on the list of "nonessential" programs to be shut down this week. WIC also serves pregnant women, mothers, older children. Military families are looking at reduced services; they cannot apply for further financial assistance. As a group, military families receive $100 million in SNAP assistance. (And by the by, if your service member dies during the shutdown? Death waits for no man, but death benefits do.) Veterans' benefits, social security payments ... these will all be delayed, and it is possible that benefits will be reduced as the U.S. government nears the debt ceiling limit. And with senior poverty and food insecurity on the rise, a reduction or delay in social security benefits could push more of our oldest Americans in hunger.

My point: Some of our most vulnerable fellow Americans are disproportionately affected by this government shutdown. They will be wondering where their next meal is coming from. They'll be wondering how to feed their children. It is a terrible thing to not know when or how or what you'll eat again. It is equally terrible to stand by and let it happen.

If you can, please consider some of the following ways to help:

First, find your local food banks. Once you do, call them and ask them what they need. I'd also encourage reaching out to emergency shelters that serve women and children.

Second, consider helping replenish formula supplies at food banks or emergency shelters. You can do that without even leaving your desk. If you are a Costco member, you can get a 3-pack of Similac for $88 or a 3-pack of Kirkland brand for $55 and ship them to your nearest food bank for free. If you have Amazon Prime and a spare $131, you can buy a six-pack of Similac & ship it for free to your nearest food bank or shelter via the Subscribe and Save option.

Third, see if you can send grocery store gift cards to families in need. I didn't find any sort of national clearinghouse or directory, so this might be the kind of thing you do, quietly and without fuss, for the people in your life you worry about. I know my local chain, Nob Hill, lets you buy cards online and designate recipients (for shipping or in-person pickup). Alas and alack, I couldn't find the equivalent on Safeway's site but Food Lion's got a similar set-up (and even suggests giving cards to other people), so does Meijer and so do Publix and Kroger.

Fourth, help a military aid society. These are the safety nets that will be helping military families. Help them. Donate to the Air Force Aid Society, the Army Emergency Relief,  Coast Guard Mutual Assistance, the Navy-Marine Corps Relief Society or ReserveAid.

I am posting this because it might be helpful. And because I have to wait a while to fix a systemic problem through voting, but I can try and mitigate some of the helplessness I feel now by working to blunt the impact of a decision I despise. I hope this helps some of you too.

ETA: I am opening comments on this one so anyone with other suggestions on how to help our most vulnerable fellow Americans can chime in. Let's share any and all useful suggestions.

Why Evernote is killing Pinterest

In the past month, I have pinned four things to Pinterest. I have saved 88 to Evernote. Obviously one of these cloud-based information storage systems is winning my mindshare, but I wanted to figure out why I had cooled on Pinterest.

Yes, Evernote isn't a one-to-one competitor or match to Pinterest. It's meant as a productivity app, while Pinterest is a social website. But the core competency of both is the same: Each is meant to be a means by which you easily store, sort and find data when you want it. So why am I using Evernote for everything -- how-tos, recipes, infographic storage, collections of tutorials -- and ignoring my Pinterest?

Off the top of my head, here are three reasons why my Evernote account killed any interest I had in Pinterest.