Penny Wiseacre

Prep School: Ten things you need to put in a go bag

September is National Preparedness Month, so I'll be posting a six-part series on things you can do to plan ahead and reduce the impact of disasters, natural or otherwise. Today's post is on the importance of assembling a go-bag so you're not frantically scrambling for stuff while chaos unravels around you.

(P.S. Part one was on ten quick and easy emergency prep activities. Part two was on the ten types of paperwork you need to have under control.)

Die, DIY: Our bathroom is neither refreshed nor refreshing

When I saw the listing for what would eventually become our new digs, I noticed two things: The current owner was putting it back on the market after only six months, and the price was 20% higher than it had been six months ago. Alameda's real estate had been going a little bonks that spring -- places were being snapped up within a week of being listed -- but not "20% increase in six months" bonks.

So we went to the open house to see what could possible justify this increase. Answer: Nothing. But I was dying to find out the logic behind the listing, so I asked the agent, who was playing Angry Birds on her phone rather than talking to any of the 20 people milling about, what was up.

"I noticed the price is 20% higher, despite the market only trending up 4% year over year," I started. "So what sort of value's been added to this house to justify the increase?"

Without even looking up from her phone, the agent said, "She painted."

"Were there diamonds ground into the paint?" I said. "You're asking $80,000 more than the prior sales price. What else was done?"

The agent rolled her eyes and sighed before saying, "The bathroom was refreshed too."

"Refreshed?" I asked. "What does that even mean?"

"Things were upgraded. It was resurfaced."

Reader, we were warned. And we bought anyway.

Prep School: Ten types of paperwork you need to have under control

September is National Preparedness Month, so I'll be posting a six-part series on things you can do to plan ahead and reduce the impact of disasters, natural or otherwise. Today's post is on the importance of getting your "important papers" in order while your life is comparatively calm.

(P.S. Part one was on ten quick and easy emergency prep activities.)

Wherein I riff on other people' proclamations about parenting, part the first

Every parent I know is still the person they were before to varying degrees of accessibility, and if they are not, they are the type of person who was actually just a bowl of oatmeal in the first place, anyway. Like, the kind that isn't steel cut. Yes, parenting changes you on fundamental levels, but as far as I can tell, it never decimates the core preferences so much as temporarily mutes them.

-- "For the Love of All That's Holy, You Don't Lose Your Identity When You Become a Parent, You Lose Your Minutes," Jezebel, Sep 6, 12

I am fairly new to the parenting gig (22 months and counting) and am eminently unqualified to offer any sort of insight into Parenting as a human universal. But I am not new to being myself (484 months and counting) and am qualified to offer insight into myself once I added "parenting a child" to the mix.

Parenting a child didn't change me. I suspect all it's done is distill my most marked personality traits -- both the good and the, ahem, challenging -- because I no longer have either the energy or inclination to indulge unproductive nonsense, both my own and other people's. If adding "parent this human being" to my daily rota changed anything, it's my approach to time. I'm a lot meaner with it now.

Prep School: Ten quick things you can do to prepare for emergencies

September is National Preparedness Month, so I'll be posting a six-part series on things you can do to plan ahead and reduce the impact of disasters, natural or otherwise. Today's post is on quick and inexpensive things you can do now that could come in handy later.