The Rage Diaries

HFStival now HFiesta!

In high school and college, my parents let me drive The Beast, a fabulous 1978 Buick LeSabre that came with its own zip code and a minty-green paint job. I programmed the radio buttons for two stations -- WHFS 99.1 and DC 101. I listened to HFS whenever I tore down the back roads of Prince William or Loudon County; it was a lifeline to an infinitely more interesting and less conservative world. I went to HFStival, because that's what you did when you were a young adult in the metro area.

And now the DC area's alt-rock station is off the air. It's a Spanish-language station. ("WHFS Off the Air," WaPo, Jan 12, 05; "WHFS Changes Its Tune to Spanish," WaPo, Jan 13, 05)

HFS introduced me to the Pixies, the Smiths, the Hoodoo Gurus, the Cocteau Twins, Robyn Hitchcock, Guadacanal Diary, Elvis Costello, Suzanne Vega, XTC, the Sugarcubes, Husker Du, Sugar, Lloyd Cole, the Replacements, the Cure, the Clash, the Sex Pistols, the Violent Femmes, Jane's Addiction, Red Hot Chili Peppers, Mother Love Bone, Screaming Trees, Belly, the Breeders ... the list goes on. In the period when alternative really was, you know, alternative, HFS was this little voice on the dial promising entry to a whole wide world free of Debbie Gibson and getting the Led out at 10.

The station's moment may have passed. It may have been a victim of its own success -- I look at VH-1 Classic's "The Alternative" (nostalgia programming for those of us who used to stay up watching "120 Minutes") and what strikes me now is how un-alternative the people look now.

So I'm mourning more for what HFS was: a beacon for people who always felt pushed to the edges of the crowd. In the station, we found something wonderful waiting -- the idea that the edge was really a border to someplace better. I suppose those kids now go online to find their own music communities; they don't have the exquisite loneliness of sitting in the car while "Left of the Dial" plays and imagining all the people scattered around listening to that song, a fraternity of sound with members linked only in their aural imagination. More's the pity for those kids.

For less soggy coverage, DCist has "WHFS, RIP," and "Goodbye, HFS."

Y'all need to love on apple cider

Like many folks, I thought apple cider was the same thing as apple juice until I was schooled by the pros at the apple-picking orchards around the Albany/Schenectady/Troy, NY area. And now, I love me some apple cider and fresh cider doughnuts in the fall.

Tragically, the love has been unrequited, as I've been living in coastal California for the past 8 years. We don't have apple orchards within easy driving distance. Excellent fish taco stands, yes. Apple cider, not so much. You've got to head out past Sacramento, to Apple Hill, for that business.

So I get my autumnal kicks vicariously -- looking at fall foliage porn, scoping out New York apple orchards on the Web, and getting all indignant over Virginians' obdurate refusals to drink God's own nectar. (The Sweet, Sad State of Cider, WaPo, Oct 6, 04) At least there's the off-chance y'all will make cider doughnuts ("Rich Rounds Of Cider, No Less," WaPo, Oct 6, 04), right?

A clue explaining America's expanding waistline?

Living as I did within walking distance of the Raiders' practice facilities, and a ten-minute drive from NetAss, it's safe to say I was once at the epicenter of Raider Nation. The Raider Nation is the Mongol horde of sports fandom -- filled with non-English speaking people whose cultural customs are barbaric, brutal, and tacky. I wouldn't go to a Raiders game if you paid me.

Exhibit A

I have strong opinions on what makes a good museum. No actual curatorial experience or education to back these up, but strong opinions nonetheless.

Among my favorite museums: the Sterling & Francine Clark Art Institute in Williamstown, Mass; LACMA in Los Angeles and the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art. I like these three because they managed to engage my attention and teach me something about fine art, a field I normally regard with indifference. Any natural history museum is a gimme for me, because I'm already interested in the subject matter. Making me want to return to an art gallery is much trickier.

When we were in D.C., we set aside a day to go to the Smithsonian's American history and natural history museums. I had been looking forward to it; I've loved the natural history museum since I was a four-year-old passionately interested in dinosaurs, and have visited as regularly as I could ever since.

This time, I was disappointed by both museums.

Here's to Sundance Air?

When Phil and I got our rental car last Wednesday morning, I looked across the street and noticed the Independence Air hangar. The logo's typeface and aesthetic reminded me of the Independent Film Channel, AKA IFC.

I tugged on the hem of Phil's t-shirt and said, "Hey, check it out. IFC's branched out into commercial aviation. Independent airlines."

Phil sighed because he knew what was coming.

"Do they fly only to hip indie places like the Sundance festival and Telluride?" he asked.

"Yes. And Park Slope in Brooklyn," I told him. "There's a hub in Austin. And all the flight attendants don't have uniforms, just the logo tattooed somewhere. And lots of piercings. And the snacks are all straight out of Trader Joe's."

"And people are constantly confusing it with the Sundance airline, because there's not exactly a lot of difference," Phil added.

"And the in-flight movies they show are all about cowboys eating pudding and exploring their sexuality,*" I said. "And the CFO funded the whole thing by selling his comic collection on eBay and charging his credit cards."

It actually got sillier from there, as I began suggesting other niche cable channel-themed airlines like the DIY Airline. We were operating on about 4 hours' sleep between us at that point, so that probably explains much of the conversation.

But the real skinny behind Independence Air is this: it's the low-cost baby of former United partner and current DC-area regional airline firm Atlantic Coast Airlines. United and Atlantic Coast dissolved their partnership in the midst of United's bankruptcy-related re-org.

Since low-cost carriers are the prevailing model for the airline industry, what with jetBlue and Southwest doing remarkably well compared to their more allegedly full-featured competitors, Atlantic Coast launched one ("Independence Air Opens Sales, and Rival's Fares Fall," WaPo, May 20, 04; "Independence Air Is Off the Ground at Last," WaPo, June 17, 04), thus competing against its former partner United.

United, you see, launched low-cost carrier Ted, a move that makes me fervently wish someone would launch a product or service called Carol so I have an excuse to write about Microsoft, this hitherto unknown firm, United and Infinity Broadcasting, and give the article the headline "Bob + Carol + Ted + Alice."

In any event, Independence Air is not linked with the IFC as of yet. This is a pity; if Fast Company is right and "the experience will be the expression of the brand" ("The Good Brand," Aug 04), then they totally need to do something to compete with the jetBlue experience (TV in the seats, yoga and pilates cards in the seatback pockets) and the Southwest experience. The hipster doofus approach to flying might just be the niche to take, you know?

* Ed note: I'm not referring to Brokeback Mountain here.

Home, sweet ... not so fast

Last time I e-mailed my Mom, we were shooting the breeze about the unparalleled joys of springtime in DC, where "unparalleled" is shorthand for "watch out for that one last cold snap that'll kill your plants in April" and "joys" means "but it won't do a thing about the pollen count, which will coat your car and your lungs in a fine yellow haze." April may be the cruelest month for all but vendors of over-the-counter antihistamines.

And that reminded me: there are two new DC-area weblogs I want to add to the list at right. Swamp City's editorial tone amuses me, and I like the range of topics. And why.i.hate.dc is a masterpiece of sustained bile, with juicy links and scalding commentary.

If you've ever lived in D.C. -- or wondered what life there is like -- read these, and the City Paper. Why, I'm practically watering at the eyes in remembrance -- or with a sympathy allergy attack.

Return of the Frankenfish

Whoa! No sooner do I recall the northern snakehead scare of '02, thanks to a few links, than I read today that one has been found in Wheaton, MD. ("A Creepy Catch of the Day," WaPo, April 29, 04)

Suddenly, Fierce Creatures seems less funny

I've written on the mismanagement at the National Zoo before, so it seems only appropriate to follow up.

I read the newspapers so you don't have to

Sure, we're all up on Lea Fastow's rejection of the best deal she's likely to get, Europe all worked up over the recent Science report slamming salmon for toxicity, and the ongoing mad cow drama. Plus, you probably read Slate's somber and serious "Today's Papers" column for all the real news. I'm just pulling out articles unique to each paper that I'll want to remember for later.

The NYT

If you open Howard Dean's closet, Naomi Wolf is lurking inside holding a brown turtleneck with "Alpha Male" discreetly picked out in a darker espresso-colored silk. Or so goes the subtext in today's unintentionally hilarious "Seeking Women's Votes, Clark Changes His Style," where the message is that women want a kinder, less cocky Commander in Chief and leader of the free world (see also the lede for today's "Tide of Second Thought Rises Among Democrats") Not to be outdown, Wesley Clark is also public asserting that he sees women as real live people too.

Folks who are interested in evolutionary biology will have a lot to chew on as they read through "Ice Age Ancestry May Keep Body Warmer and Healthier." How did these changes arise? Folks who are interested in concocting paranoid conspiracies about whether or not corporations conspire to determine elections will have a lot to chew on as they read, "Financial Firms Are Bush's Biggest Donors." If you'd like to protest this by withdrawing your business, knock Merrill Lynch, MBNA, Vinson & Elkins, CSFB, Bass Brothers, the IBC, Goldman Sachs and PWC off your list. Enron, which was the No. 1 all-time donor (and why more people aren't howling about a link there is a mystery), is more or less out of play now.

The WaPo

The egregious mismanagement of the National Zoo has been covered for some time -- as it should be, given how animals were droping like flies (first there was the July 20, 2003, "Zoo Vows Vigilance As Deaths Continue" in the wake of a wild fox killing a bald eagle at the zoo by squeezing into its cage, then Sept. 30, 2003's story "Latest Check at Zoo Finds Rodents, Roaches Persist," leading ultimately to Dec. 11, 2003 "Rat-Borne Disease Kills Zoo Monkey") -- and the paper checks out the zoo's defensive maneuvering today. The National Zoo filed a 63-page response to former zoo pathologist's Donald K. Nichol's allegations that the zoo management was less competent than some of its primate wards ("Zoo Admits Mistakes in Animal Care."). In classic bureaucratese, report author and zoo director Lucy Spelman attempts to discredit Nichol by alleging he's not a team player, but does admit incompetence in 15 of the 21 animal deaths he reported on. (You can read more about Spelman in the April 28, 2003 "Spelman's Style Polarizing Zoo Employees.") A handy chart detailing how zebras died of starvation and hypothermia, pandas were poisoned, and monkeys passed over for veterinary attention is right here. You can read the Dec. 7, 2003 "Pattern of Mistakes Found in Zoo Deaths," the Dec. 8 "Zoo Operates Under Gaps in Oversight," and the Dec. 8 "Key Staffers Depart During Zoo Reforms" for a comprehensive look at how poorly run the zoo was. Dr. Spelman said during last summer's hearings that the zoo was struggling with funding, something that congressional staff members openly doubted ("Zoo Officials Question Funding," August 28, 2003).

But the zoo is the only federally-funded zoo in the U.S.; 70% of its money comes from the government, and it's a subsidiary of the Smithsonian Insititution. The House Administration Committee overses the Smithsonian; I imagine they're receptive to citizen concern. In theory, the American Zoo and Aquarium Association, which accredited the zoo this year, should be receptive to hearing the concerns of zoo-goers too.

This entire story breaks my heart: some of my happiest memories center around visiting the zoo as I was growing up. Those trips, along with my regular Smithsonian jaunts, only pointed out how great the responsibility we sentient species have to the the marvelous panolopy of lifeforms with whom we share the planet; watching us botch it makes me sad for people as a whole.

But let's get back to the rest of the paper. Or just to the frivolous stuff: Robin Givhan writes, "'Sex and the City' Gives High Style A Leg Up," where she notes the impact the show had on America's fashion awareness. A distraught Midwestern store owner asks, "Who else is going to come along and expose Middle America to Jimmy Choo?" Oh, please. It's not like there's not a billion other fashion-oriented vehicles on cable: the thing store owners will miss is the lemming-like stomp to retailers after seeing someone wear it on TV. Besides, the WaPo says The O.C. is it this year. Let Mischa Barton be your muse!

The WSJ

"Fashion Schools Get Real" details how would-be clothiers are now expected to have business expertise in addition to a gift for silhouettes. I find this interesting because the WSJ's pro-business bias puts them in an unique position to examine publicly-held clothing companies from a bottom-line perspective, and it helps illuminate the line between fad-made one hit wonders and names that have managed to make their design philosophy a marketable commodity. Design as a quantifiable market value is an interesting, but elusive, beast to pin down.

I've been reading Sharon Begley since she was knocking around the Washington Post Company's assorted outlets, and I love her Science Journal column for the times. This one, "Pigskin Overtime Rules and Beaned Batters Spur Math Theorems," reports on two major mathematical society meetings and shows how mathematicians are crunching baseball stats to figure out how numbers really behave. It's only a matter of time before someone figures this approach is somehow sexist, you know.

Bonus! -- The Weekly Newsmagazines

Both Time and Newsweek ask who Howard Dean is and why some Democrats are going into a blind panic over the prospect of him getting the nomination, while U.S. News posits "the economy is finally firing on all cylinders." You know there's material for a drinking game here with, "How radically different from Time and Newsweek will U.S. News be this week?"

Nobody walks in L.A. Or D.C.

I got so spoiled living in Alameda and San Franciso -- sidewalks everywhere. When we were in NoVa last month, I noticed how pedestrian-unfriendly the place seemed to be. And now, the WaPo has too, with their 12/28 article "Residents Struggle to Walk Away from Traffic."