What about prom, Blaine?

I read "For Prom Night, Beauty Is Weeks in the Making" (NYT, June 8, 06) and promptly felt a million years old. Among the article's fun tidbits:

A survey by Your Prom magazine found that 74 percent of girls ratchet up spending on beauty products like artificial nails and lip gloss during prom season. The average student spends $638 on the prom, a $4 billion industry, according to the Condé Nast Bridal Group, which owns Your Prom. (That figure is likely much higher in and around big cities like New York, Chicago, Philadelphia, Miami, Houston and Los Angeles.)

Perhaps I was just an extraordinarily cheap and slovenly teen, but when I went to my senior prom (May 12, 1990), here's how it went down:

• Dress: $50 (it was a black, off-the-shoulder, knee-length Gunne Sax sheath I found at a sample sale at Daffy's in Potomac Mills. It is quite possibly the only non-poufy-skirted number that label put out in that time period)
• Black pantyhose: already owned.
• Shoes: $15 (my black patent pleather 3" pumps were from Payless)
• Jet-bead shoe clips: $25, local store
• Jet-bead dangly earrings: $35, Hecht's
• Manicure: self-administered (and blown earlier that day at work when a boat I was tying to a dock bashed my pinky in), $0 additional cost as I already owned the champagne-colored nail polish
• Hair and make-up: self-administered, as I already owned everything.
• Total spent on specific prom attire: $125.

My date's jaw dropped in appreciation when I came into the living room, and even my mom liked my dress ("It's like something a young Jackie Kennedy would wear!" she kept cooing approvingly), so I'd say it worked out well. And I got more mileage out of the outfit by wearing it to a friend's prom the next month. So the cost per prom worked out to $62.50.

So what do you think of this prom prep? Was it normal when you were in your prom-going days? Do you think it's just a reflection of the personal-pampering current that prevails in pop culture?

I read articles like the one above, and I can totally understand why some schools wanted to cancel prom over "the flaunting of affluence, assuming exaggerated expenses, a pursuit of vanity for vanity’s sake — in a word, financial decadence" ("NY School Cancels Prom over 'Decadence,'" MSNBC, Oct 16, 05; "Schools That Cancelled Prom Offer Compromise," MSNBC, Apr 6, 06) but I may be out of step with what's going on among the kids today. After all, as I found out as I walked into a ballroom full of girls wearing poofy pastel tea-length gowns, I was out of step with what's going among the kids when I was a kid.

Comments

[mindy]

I totally lucked out for my senior prom -- I found a bridal shop that *rented* formal gowns.

For junior prom, I found a dress for $99. Unfortunately, the photos prove that it was Rachel Greene's prom dress from that episode of Friends, two shades of blue darker. (You know, the one with the GINORMOUS puffy sleeve-lets and the ruching and the bow?)

[Alexandra]

I went to prom five years ago, in a suburb just outside of Manhattan, and I spent nowhere near that amount. I wore the same dress that I'd worn to my junior prom (whatever, I liked it! And anyway, everyone else was all wrapped up in their own dress drama, so they didn't notice). It was BCBG, but I'd found it on sale, and luckily it hasn't made me ashamed of it yet -- it was almost yellowy off-white, with a high boatneck in the front, a really low-cut back, and a slight flare to the floor-length skirt. I did my own nails and hair, after having my hair professionally done the year before and hating both the "princess" look of it and the pain of taking it out. I borrowed my sister's shoes and my mom's jewelry. And my date and I (and two of our broke friends) took my piece of crap Cabrio convertible to the prom. We even tied balloons to the rollbar.

But a lot of girls in my school went the expensive route -- designer dresses, professional makeup, expensive post-prom clubbing fees, etc. I think that if parents and their kids in a community as a whole aren't willing to keep the prom madness in check, it totally makes sense for the school to just cancel it. It sucks, but it makes sense.

[Laurel Krahn]

I'm pretty sure that both my prom dresses were less than $100 or else right around that amount-- I don't really recall. I know it seemed like a huge amount at the time. At least one was a sample (size 3! yikes).

I don't recall buying anything else special. I'm sure I just actually tried to wear a little makeup and might've bought an extra thing or two.

Went solo to both proms and had fun. Didn't spend any extra money on fancy dinners or limos or anything like that either.

My jaw drops when I read about how proms go these days and about sweet sixteen parties. And then I start sounding like an old lady.

[blnkfrnk]

$638 sounds about right to me. Of course, that's for the people in high school whose lives are completely wrapped up in high school and dating. The popular kids with the money to spend. Everyone else just tries to go and have a nice time. When I went, I found that people would spend a lot of money on the one thing that meant "prom night!" to them-- be it nails or hair or dress or shoes or whatever-- and would cheap out on the other necessaries.

I didn't want to go; my mom forced me to go and it was a waste of time and money. I don't enjoy dances or large events, and never have. I would not go again unless you paid me, though I did enjoy some aspects of it all.

Ticket: I didn't have a date, so I split a bid with another dateless friend (she put a bowtie on her camera instead of finding some boy.) $35.

Transportation: Some friends offered me a space in the limo they had rented, and kindly didn't ask me to pay. I think their parents picked up the tab. Otherwise I would have carpooled with the other dateless wonders. $0.

Dress: I was channeling Marlene Dietrich, so I wore tails. I owned the coat, tie, and cummerbund, but had to get a shirt, studs, and pants. It worked out to be about $30 at a second-hand store.

Shoes: Already had them-- nice men's dress shoes I had bought for job interviews. Spit-shined them myself. $0.

Makeup and hair: $2 for a new red nailpolish and a new powder compact. I tried and tried to soap down my eyebrows so as to cover them and redraw them in proper Dietrich fashion, but no dice. Curled my hair in my best marcelling imitation. $2.

Photographs: Didn't take any, and didn't want to be reminded of the evening since I didn't want to be there in the first place. $0.

Corsage: I made my own buttoniere from some red roses bought at the grocery store. It looked very nice, but kept falling off or poking my chest. $10 (and some string and pins), but I had roses in my bedroom for the week, so it was money well spent.

Notable moment: becoming prom princess. I didn't get enough votes for queen. I had to sit out of the royalty dance, however, as I hadn't brought a date. I still have the tiara.

So, I was deliberately trying to convey my disdain for the prom, but I also enjoyed the opportunity to dress fabulously. I figure the amount of money I spent was equivalent to the entertainment I derived. I wasn't someone for whom the prom was a major event, though, so no major expense was required.

[mary ann]

10 years ago:

Dress was $40 at TJ Maxx, navy blue (my mother did not permit me to wear black until I was out of high school)

Shoes were $15 at TJ Maxx and I still wear them to work.

Ticket for my prom was $50 and included dinner.

I bought and dried $1 worth of baby's breath each week and put it in my hair.

I did all of my getting ready at the local YMCA because I was taking a lifeguarding class and had to go straight from. So, no cost on make-up, manicure, et cetera. I just blowdried my hair under the hand dryer, pinned the whole mess of curls on the top of my head, threw some baby's breath in there and that, with my contacts, a French manicure pencil and a lipstick I already had, was the whole process.

Jewelry was all antique rhinestones belonging to my mother and grandmother. And my dates bought the pictures each time.

I wore the whole mess and got dressed (and picked up) at the YMCA three weekends in a row. Three different dates. I'm pretty sure the people in the class were a little confused. So, that's a pro-rated cost of less than $40 per prom.

[Peggy Nature]

I went to my prom (for exactly 30 seconds before deciding to call it a night, go home, and drink whiskey) in 1997. My mom sewed my dress. I think I bought some new makeup, but not more than $50 worth.

[Nomie]

My proms were four and five years ago, respectively. I probably spent about $200 on each of them; for example, the dress for junior prom was on sale and cheaper than the senior prom one, but I used the same shoes and bag; I split a limo with friends both years; I got my hair done both years but did my own makeup and manicure. And I wasn't particularly unique in my spending; I went to a big regional high school in a decently middle-class area, and nobody really has six hundred to drop on one night.

[Uli]

My formal - in Australia, the equivalent of the prom - was also 1990. To the best of my recollection I spent about $200 on the dress (which I found today, when cleaning out my closet, it's black and gold, but not poufy, which I guess is not back considering), and about $100 on a pair of black shoes. I may have bought a lipstick and a pair of $10 earrings.

Hair and make-up I did myself, and I wore the dress to three formals that year, at three different schools so no one noticed, and continued to wear the shoes for five years afterwards, so overall I don't think the cost was too bad.

And I paid nothing for transport, someone's father rented a minibus and drove us - the dance location was 35 minutes drive from school - and our after party, as is traditional here, was in a marquee in a paddock, supplied by someone's parents. I think we paid $15 each towards to cost.

[Uli]

not "bad" considering. Duh.

[drunken monkey]

My prom was in 1999 (although we don't do "prom" so much; it's more a dance after the grad ceremonies). My dress was expensive -- I think it came to $275 with alterations, although my mother maintains that we got ripped off for those because she thinks they intentionally ordered it two sizes larger than they should have. I liked it before I saw the price, but my mother insisted I get it; I think she was living out her graduation fantasies through me; her and her sister graduated high school the same year, so they had to cheap it out for the related expenses. I still feel a bit guilty about how much it cost, but I did wear it to two other events (a wedding and a university formal), and I would still wear it today if it fit.

But everything else I wore were things I already had -- purse, shoes, etc. My aunt is a hairdresser, so she did my updo for free as my grad present. Save for a couple of classmates, most girls in my class went a simililarly reasonable route. I think part of the simplicity is that I grew up in a small, blue-collar town; nobody had $700 to spend on prom, and there was no sense in taking a limo down one of the three roads in town. Another part is that I've never been a huge girly girl; I didn't get fake nails then, and I haven't gotten them at any point since.

But I do think things have changed a lot, even in that short amount of time. My brother went to prom a few years after me (he wore a tux my father had made for him in Thailand, incidently) at the same high school, and now it's a giant affair -- princess dresses, going to the tanning bed, getting acrylic nails, going into town to get your hair done. The dresses have become a lot more adult-looking too, even for eighth grade graduations.

[Betty Sue]

Mine *was* in 1993 (and we call them Formals here), however, I spent:
Dress: $50 from Sportsgirl
Shoes: $40 from Payless (black platform sandals! Stylish, no?)
Lipstick: $5
Balance of makeup (by which I mean mascara): already owned
Hair: $25 (I had really long hair and didn't own anything like a hairdryer or a hot roller, so had to get it done at the hairdresser)

Those are all Australian dollars too, so take off about 30% for comparative purposes. I don't think I could have spent $600 if I'd tried.

[Madderrose]

14 years ago:
-$0- spent.

I, uh, didn't go.

Virginia Tech was having some sort of early-acceptance seminar thingy for incoming freshmen. And as I was the only one in my group of girls with an actual steady boyfriend, I incurred much wrath at the time. My parents were thankful, I think, as they were scraping together money for books and tuition, and probably couldn't have afforded prom frippery.

If I recall correctly, shiny aqua satin with random poofiness was in at the time. Biiig hair, spiral perms. (which I also couldn't have done, as I'd realized sometime earlier in the year that I saved an hour's sleep by parting it in the middle and going hippie.)

[lacalda]

Hey! My prom was on May 12, 1990, too.. but in Virginia Beach, VA.

I had been a Neptune Festival Princess (sigh) and so I just wore that dress, a big white iridescent monstrosity with lots of crystals (still have it, and its more elaborate then my wedding dress.)

I got expensive stockings, but they were still only $12.

Shoes were from payless, $20, tops.

I got my hair done, that cost $40.

Everything else I just did myself.
My date drove his own car. Because he was a friend from church, I paid for the tickets, $50, and we went dutch on the dinner at a fabulous restaurant with a James Beard-winning chef (what a waste!) and that *was* expensive, but worthwhile, at $40.

Not the most romantic of proms-- I asked my date to prom because I had dumped my original prom date in rather spectacular fashion (in the CAFETERIA-- a tale at least 3 people have told my husband at reunions since) when a guy friend told me that he had been taking bets on whether or not he would a) get to see my tits on prom night and b) take my virginity on prom night. (I had large breasts for a high school girl, but was a goody- goody.)

Prom sucked.

[lisapete]

I wonder if they were averaging in males as well since it just says "students".

My prom was in - ahem - 1990 and while I spent under $150 on my dress and prep, my date spent close to $1000 when you figured in the limo, the flowers, the hotel room and the tickets.

[mike]

Dang, no boys commenting? My first job was to earn money for a tux rental and dinner. This was, uh, a long time ago.

My impression is that things have changed in various ways. One, as noted, is that the extravagance has ratcheted up, although there are ways to mitigate that, as various other posters have noted. When I went, we had formal clothes and went out to dinner; my date's mom grumbled about how in HER day, the dance was at the gym (it was indeed still a "promenade") and that you either made a dress or wore something you had. But in my day, limos were unheard of, to name but one feature that seems fairly popular these days.

Something else that's changed (I think) is that going to prom was in relationship terms a big deal -- you went with your (would be) steady. My impression is that kids now comfortably go with a "friend" date. I might have that wrong.

My Spanish teacher, who is not a US native, was entirely mystified by prom when her daughter went. We had a tough time explaining the protocols and conventions -- especially the why's and wherefore's. Nothing like trying to explain it all to a foreigner to get a sense of perspective on the whole thing. One thing that we did all agree on, though: prom was basically a kind of junior warm-up for wedding planning. I would guess that folks who don't make a big deal out of prom likewise don't make a huge fuss out of a wedding. I'd be interested to hear commentary on that ...