The Rage Diaries

Havisham or Haversham?

So I was reading the Jan 1 NYT piece, "Paradise Lost (Domestic Division)," when this caught my eye:

No jilted bride could feel as embarrassed and humiliated as a woman in her 60's discarded by her husband. I was confused and scared, and the pain of being tossed aside by the love of my life made bitterness unavoidable. In those first few bewildering months, as I staggered and wailed though my life, I made Miss Haversham look like a good sport.

I had always thought literature's most famous jilted bride was Miss Havisham. (My number-two pick? Granny Weatherall.) A quick search through Great Expectations backs me up, but a Google on "Misss Haversham" also produces many results.

So is the Gray Lady wrong, or am I?

On a different note: this essay is perhaps the exception to the "Housewifery! It's where all today's overachievers are!" trend this paper's been promoting for the last few years. It's a first-person look at the devastating economic and social consequences of divorce following a long-term marriage. Would that all the young Princetonians planning on letting their husbands support them could get a framed copy of this piece as a bridal shower gift.

Firing the drummer

"Beats Losing" (Washington City Paper, Dec 23-29, 05) is a fascinating look at Gallaudet's football program and how it was turned around this year. Of interest in the story:

Gallaudet, for example, gets credit as the birthplace of the football huddle. Legend holds that in the early 1890s, a Bison offensive player named Paul Hubbard grew weary of his team’s defensive players’ stealing his sign language while calling plays during practice. So Hubbard began asking his teammates to bunch up together while receiving instructions.

[...]

[U]ntil recently for the Bison, offensive plays had long been triggered by the beating of a drum on the sideline at the line of scrimmage; it was pounded in measured beats by a Gallaudet assistant, who swung hard enough for players to feel the drum’s vibrations. The center would snap the ball to the quarterback after the number of drumbeats prescribed by the quarterback in the huddle.

[...]

[QB Jason] Coleman, a senior, ... told the coach he saw no need for huddling up anymore. He pointed out that Gallaudet doesn’t have any deaf teams on its schedule, so defenders wouldn’t be able to understand what instructions Coleman was giving his teammates any better than Hottle could on his first day on the job. And for a snap count, Hottle let Coleman and the center work out a silent count system, which relies on the sense of touch and a good ol’ hand-to-buttocks tap. Gallaudet offensive linemen, as defensive linemen have always done, just move with the snap.

“It doesn’t matter what I’m signing in front of the defense,” says Coleman via instant messaging. “They don’t know what I’m saying, unless they’re deaf. It’s an advantage.”

(Coleman confesses that he cracked up the team all season with imitations of the horrible signing technique Hottle initially showed. “He picked it up fast, though,” the quarterback adds.)

Gallaudet is pretty interesting to me because it's a vivid illustration of the deaf world's complexities. While not being able to hear is considered a handicap in a world that relies on a lot of audio communication and cues, there's also a thriving Deaf culture that considers things like cochlear implants and non-signing to be assaults on who they are. Read  Leah Hager Cohen's Train Go Sorry for one look at this; to get a taste, just work through the Amazon reviews. During the same year Train Go Sorry came out, Karawynn Long wrote "Of Silence and Slow Time," a short story examining the effects of technology on Deaf Culture. And in 01, PBS aired Sound and Fury, which examined the debate over cochlear implants.

I freely admit I do not know very much about the history or nuances of Deaf culture beyond what I just linked to. It just grabs my imagination because of the element of communication: we don't know whether language structure shapes thinking or vice-versa (see Structuralism and Post-Structuralism for Beginners for a nice layman's overview of the debate, then read Neil Stephenson's Snow Crash to see Chomsky theory in action), and there's this whole culture that's taken language and communication, and gone off in a whole different direction with it by necessity. How can anyone not be interested in learning what new frontiers in human expression are opened up this way?

A lucrative state of mind

"Happy people appear to be more successful than their less-happy peers in three primary life domains — work, relationships and health," the researchers conclude.

And "happy moods appear to lead people to seek out others and to engage with the environment at large, to be more venturesome, more open and more sensitive to other individuals."

But alas, there is a downside to all this happiness. Sometimes, especially when the subject is "chronically happy," the researchers note, co-workers may find all that cheerfulness a bit annoying.

-- "Smile for Success," ABC News, Dec 21, 05

There's something a bit amusing about this coming out on the shortest day of the year, what with that lack of light being what drives some people towards unhappiness.

Like crack, only in chocolate form

Normally I am all about the dark chocolate. Anyone who read my CSI recaps for any period quickly learned that Scharffen Berger is near and dear to my heart. This is due to the 70% Bittersweet bars, although I never turn down the 62% Semisweet or the Nibby bars.

My idea of broadening my palate includes conceding that Valrhona makes a fine enough 71% bar, Le Noir,  Joseph Schmidt's dark mini truffles are tasty enough (and a bargain compared to the delightful Recchiuti truffles), and baking comes out well enough with either Guittard or Ghirardelli semi-sweet chips. My idea of a good time includes hunting down artisanal chocolate shops trying things like tea-infused caramel or candied ginger in dark chocolate.

Yet I am sitting here staring at four little Hershey Miniatures. They've been stacked two-by-two, they've been stacked four high. They made a nice little square and a dubious-looking ziggurat. And three of them are milk chocolate. This is because they're all Hershey's mint miniatures, and while the Mint Special Dark is okay, the Mint Milk Chocolate is sublime. It's addictive.

Words don't do it justice, but I'm compelled to try: the creamy texture coats your mouth with sweetness, but before the rich, milky sugar smack becomes too much, the mint cuts right through, strong and cool. This bar is a perfect balance of flavors and textures.

Best of all, this is a really inexpensive holiday treat -- I picked up my last bag for $3, I think. If you excuse me, I have to get back to rearranging my little lovelies while I debate whether it's better to eat the dark chocolate up front, or sandwich it between two milk chocolate miniatures.

What's your  favorite holiday candy fix? What about your favorite chocolate fix?

A year without China

I heard yesterday on Marketplace that China's now the No. 4 U.S. economy in the world, knocking Great Britain out of its spot; it's expected to unseat the U.S. as No. 1 within the next 30 years. We are, of course, currently helping this along by enthusiastically buying cheap goods made in China.

The thing is, it's kind of hard not to buy items made in China; they're everywhere. I just checked my own desk: my calculator, water bottle, headphones and tiki mug were all made in China. Only my calendar, reference books and purse were made in the U.S.

"A Year Without 'Made in China'" (CSM, Dec 20, 05) talks about one family's struggle to avoid China-made goods for a year, and makes this astute point:

The funny thing about China's ascent is that we, as a nation, could shut the whole thing down in a week. Jump-start a "Just Say No to Chinese Products Week," and the empire will collapse amid the chaos of overloaded cargo ships in Long Beach harbor. I doubt we could pull it off. Americans may be famously patriotic, but look closely, and you'll see who makes the flag magnets on their car bumpers.

Plus, as the story points out, skipping China-made goods sharply limits the array of goods available to you and it jacks up the price you will pay for what's available. A nation of shoppers trained to think of price and selection first will not go easily into a shopping-on-principles mode.

For a smaller look at the pervasiveness of made-in-China goods (some estimates have it at 25% of all U.S. imports), listen to Marketplace's Nov 16, 05, report "A Day Without China."

And for a related look at the mutual back-scratching between Wal-Mart and China, listen to "China and Wal-Mart" and check out the Frontline report "Is Wal-Mart Good for America?" The report documents the shift in power from American manufacturers to one American retailer, and explains how Wal-Mart's pushed manufacturers to shift jobs overseas or face not being stocked in the store. Given a choice between losing American jobs via poor sales or losing them via exporting production, many companies opt for the latter.

I am curious as to how many Wal-Mart customers in regions crippled by manufacturing shutdowns have made the connection between the retailer they visit and the jobs their area has lost.

Guess who won the war on Christmas?

The alleged War on Christmas consists not of materialism invading a spiritual holiday, but of materialism's agents sometimes failing to pay lip service to the holiday they have conquered. Drawing the line there is like building fortifications against Germany along the border of Vichy France.

-- "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians," Reason, Dec 19, 05

Or, as the WaPo notes in today's "Have a Holly, Jolly Holiday,"

The "war" is composed of conservative Christian groups railing against "politically correct" advertising campaigns that, they say, do not include the words "Merry Christmas" in sales literature or seasonal greetings.

[...] And despite some high-powered rhetoric -- Fox News host John Gibson says in the subtitle of his book "The War on Christmas" that there is a "liberal plot to ban the sacred Christian holiday" -- neither Gibson, nor anyone at the AFA, the Liberty Counsel, Lynn's group or the ACLU, is aware of an attempt to halt religious observance of Christmas or to stop making it an official federal holiday.

(Side note: read the article for yet another instance of right-wing agitators passing off patent untruths as symptoms of the liberal "War Against Christmas." It looks like Bill O'Reilly doesn't have a monopoly on the idea that nothing says "Happy Birthday, Jesus" like lying through one's teeth.)

Incidentally, during this season of peace on earth and goodwill toward others, Americans will spend billions of dollars on consumer goods. One source estimates $145.9 billion on holiday shopping this season, up 8% from the year-ago for an average of $758.16 per shopper.  ("Christmas by the Numbers," Forbes, Dec 20, 05) That includes food, decorations and gifts. The National Retail Federation expects people to spend $439.53 billion on retail sales in November and December. By comparison, Americans gave $248 billion to charity annually last year.

Yet we're supposed to be more concerned that stores aren't wishing us Merry Christmas?

Irrelevancy with advertisers may not be such a bad thing

[A]ccepting the advertisers' coveting of the 18-49 demographic jumps over the question of "Why?" What's so special about these guys that they find themselves in this enviable position? Why is this age group accorded such unilateral consideration, to the near exclusion of everyone else?

Conventional wisdom suggests the 18-49 demographic is coveted because its members are hip, cool and trendy, or aspire to be, which makes them ready targets for advertisers who, with the help of their products, promise that that's what you'll be.

[...]

[A] selected demographic becomes "the only people who count," skewing all mass entertainment their way. The networks' job, through appealing programming, is to bring these "most coveted" to one place. The advertisers' job, through seductive button-pushing, is to reel them in.

Problems, however, exist. Beyond the question of whether the most coveted have substantial money to buy things with, there's the question of whether they retain an interest in watching television at all.

[...]

There's clearly trouble there. Yet advertisers continue to pour money into the medium as though TV is still the hottest show in town. Not that television's totally "gone fishin'." People still watch it. But are they members of the most coveted demographic? Or are they — just a thought here — their parents?

It's almost impossible to get anyone to revisit conventional wisdom, but maybe it's time advertisers took a deep, relaxing breath and a careful second look. It's possible they're coveting a demographic that's strapped for cash and not watching much television. And ignoring one, with cash, that is.

-- "Are 18-49 Year-Olds Really Worth the Wooing?" LAT, Dec 19, 05

In praise of working at home

Many people seem to think that jobs that can be done at home aren't real jobs. Never mind that home-office dwellers are their own cafeteria staff, shipping-and-receiving clerks and janitors. They never get credit for cutting an employer's costs, or saving commuting time to do more work. Instead, managers believe that if they aren't there to witness someone working, it can't be happening. They envision homebound workers getting away with something, like lounging in their bathrobes and watching "General Hospital."

It's as if they believe that the people working under their noses don't waste a tremendous amount of time talking about last night's college basketball game, making bids on eBay, or reading only like-minded blogs while on company time. The misconceptions are yet another indication that vacuous symbols of productivity, rather than productivity itself, are all that really count.

-- "Working at Home Isn't the Day at the Beach Office Mates Imagine," WSJ, Dec 20, 05

Although this column's largely about the difficulty at-home workers have with other people around the house (i.e. family members who seem not to understand that it's possible to work at home), the passage above rang very true.

And I just have to ask: so what if home workers are lounging around in their bathrobe? Does it really matter what someone wears so long as they're delivering on the job?

We GET IT Gray Lady, you hate the shopping channels

A scant two months and change since Alex Kuczynski wrote ("Tune In, Dial Up and Buy," NYT, Oct 13, 05)

Quantities of items sold and the number that remain flicker at the bottom of the screen, which creates a tantalizing anxiety: supplies are limited and going fast, so you better jump on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity.

and ultimately called QVC "thrillingly dark," we get another NYT writer, Virginia Heffernan, expressing anthropological curiosity over shopping-by-TV:

urgency is the forte of the big home-shopping channels, where hour after hour the breathless hosts pitch their wares at an auctioneer's pace, and merchandise comes in limited editions perpetually poised on the brink of selling out. With home shopping, it's forever your last chance to buy.

and also passed judgment on the types of people who watch QVC or HSN irony-free, noting "something correspondingly downbeat about their implied customer." ("TV Plea: Buy Now! ," NYT, Dec 19, 05)

Can't ... type ... for ... cuteness

This photo is absolutely killing me. The reason for the ambling of the penguins:

Authorities at Asahiyama Zoo are taking the penguins on 500-yard walks on the snowy grounds twice a day, said zoo spokesman Tetsuo Yamazaki.

"Just like in humans ... the fat accumulates during the winter months, and the blood-sugar level rises," Yamazaki explained from the zoo, 570 miles northwest of Tokyo.

-- "Japan Gets Fat Penguins to Exercise," AP, Dec 15, 05

I haven't plotzed over photos of penguins wandering around for a good four, five months. Not since checking out the slideshow of two penguins walking through the metal detector at Denver International Airport.