As your cat dances on your face at 4 a.m., do you mutter, "Are you evil, or merely stupid?" Well, wonder no more. Long story short, this gentleman has decided that cats are evil, and therefore only the evil will own cats.
Choice excerpts include:
The Bible does not say that cats were not present at Herod's birthday party when John the Baptist was beheaded ... Clearly then, as loyal Christians, why would we even want to associate with animals that are without a doubt of such bad influence, remembering how true are the Bible's words: 'Bad associations spoil useful habits'! -1 Cor. 15:33.
[...]
It is a well-known fact that cats are impossible to tame, teach or raise in the truth. The cat has a rebellious, independent spirit. While the animal itself may be unaware of this tragic condition, it serves only its true master - Satan, the Devil.
The scriptures clearly indicate that neither Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, faithful Job, the Apostles, Jesus nor any other human bearing God's favor himself owned a cat. Should we simply assume that this is a mere coincidence? Surely not!
[...]
The question of how to dispose of one's unwanted cat is a serious matter. Would it be proper to hand over such a creature of Satan to a person of the world? We see no immediate problem with this, as such a person is already immersed in the wicked ways of this system of things, and so a beastly companion would be a fitting one indeed. They could accompany each other on the road to destruction.
This may come as a terrible surprise to Gertrude, patron saint of cats.
Surely that is a hoax. It MUST be.
It is, isn't it?
Posted by: Samantha | 2005.01.27 at 18:53
At first I thought it was a very funny hoax, but there's a lot of what appears to be genuine Jehovah's Witness material on that site. Huh. Maybe JWs have a sense of humor?
Posted by: Becky | 2005.01.27 at 19:43
Our cat used to seem so benign, but now that I think about it, maybe she does serve Satan. That would explain why she's always knocking over her water bowl. Right? I feel evil, too!
Poor St. Gertrude really got the shaft by having her saint's day on March 17. Forever upstaged, I guess.
Posted by: Kate | 2005.01.27 at 20:07
I have long viewed cats as Satan's furry minions - but like Becky I can't quite tell if he's providing amusing back up for this theory, or ruining it for the rest of us cat haters by being serious and scary.
Posted by: Uli | 2005.01.27 at 21:00
Sars? Sars are you there?
Posted by: Ari | 2005.01.27 at 21:47
I also enjoyed the bit about lecithin. Who knew?
I do have to concede, my old cat does make rather ungodly noises at five in the morning, but I really think it's her deafness, rather than Satan.
Posted by: Fiona | 2005.01.27 at 23:48
Did I read that last paragraph right where he actually advocates STONING YOUR CAT TO DEATH?
Posted by: Beshemoth | 2005.01.28 at 00:55
Satire, I think... a little too well written to be serious, and poking fun at some strands of Christian 'logic'.
I noticed that the Jehovah's Witness document that is posted is clearly marked as for distribution to elders only, and to be physically handed over if the person leaves. It is not to be distributed or copied at all.
The other links (why is this document so dangerous?) are down, so my guess is an ex-JW
Posted by: michelle | 2005.01.28 at 05:44
The bible did not say that cats were not present at Herod's party? Therefore, they must have been there! What about polar bears? Does the bible not say that polar bears were not present? Polar bears are evil, too!
Posted by: Cori | 2005.01.28 at 07:57
Well, DUH, polar bears are evil! Haven't you been watching Lost?
Posted by: Lisa | 2005.01.28 at 08:16
You know where else the bible doesn't say that polar bears were not present - the crucifixion - that proves they're evil... can't you just picture them: watching... drinking their bottles of coke...
Posted by: michelle | 2005.01.28 at 08:16
so, i guess it's one more stake that people can lay into me ... i'm officially a pagan going to hell! pretty good for a former youth group leader!
Posted by: robyn | 2005.01.28 at 09:51
Cat owners are evil?!
This has got to be the MOST STUPIDEST notion that I have EVER heard in my ENTIRE life!!
I have four cats but I am a devoted Christian and I can't even conceive of turning on Jesus, and I took these cats in from the love of animals in my heart AND NOTHING MORE!
So people have cats for pets! Big deal!
It doesn't mean that they are evil!
When Noah gathered up all the animals onto the Ark, did God tell him to leave the cats behind?
No, he didn't.
Whoever this gentleman is, he is obviously someone who has a hatred for animals and he will be judged for judging us animal lovers.
Posted by: Messenger | 2005.10.03 at 10:17
My small cat chewed through the tube of my insulin pump this morning...he just sat there with a dumb look on his face, but I could tell that tiny wheels were turning in his mad furry mind...(the big cat just sat on the bed jeering at him, "you're gonna get in trou-ble..."
Posted by: DensityDuck | 2005.12.14 at 05:38
Messenger,
Lighten up Francis. It was a joke and a quite good one.
Posted by: Shane Johnson | 2005.12.14 at 06:26
I own three of the little beasties and love them all.
Did I mention own? Uh, I am possessed by them, but that is neither here nor there.
Posted by: PTPFP | 2005.12.14 at 10:28
Polar bears on coke? Is there no end to the deparvity of Greenpeace?
I suggest we get counseling for them and encourage them to not share their coke with each other.
Posted by: PTPFP | 2005.12.14 at 10:30