How to get maternity leave in the U.S.A.

It is really not enough to keep arguing, "Everyone else is doing it, so why can't we?" when it comes to paid parental leave. That is the kind of argument that, on a micro level, usually gets rebutted with "If everyone else were jumping off a bridge, would you?" and given what passes for civic discourse these days, I would not put it past our elected officials to break out the bridge argument as a matter of policy.

Instead, let's focus on how one can actually get maternity leave in the U.S.

Step one: Know your federal rights.

The first thing you need to know is that the Family Leave Medical Act may not protect you. You will not be covered by the FMLA if:

1. The company you work for has fewer than 50 employees.

2. The company you work for has not employed 50 or more people in the past 20 weeks.

3. You have not worked for a "covered" employer for at least 12 months. (Although those 12 months do not have to be consecutive.)

4. You have not worked at least 1,250 hours for the employer during the previous 12 months, at a site where the employer has 50 or more employees within a 75-mile radius.

Fun fact: Small businesses are estimated to employ approximately 43% of the American workforce. The definition of "small" business is held -- often by the U.S. Small Business Administration -- to be 500 employees or less. According to the SBA, small businesses have generated a majority of America's new jobs over the last 15 years.

Step two: Know your state rights

When researching your state rights, answer these two questions: Will I get paid leave? Is my job protected while I take any leave?

I can help you answer the first question. Do you live in California or New Jersey? No? Then you do not get any paid leave after you or your partner have a baby.

As for the second question, I suggest going to your state's Department of Labor website and searching for "maternity leave," "medical leave" and "disability leave." You should also visit the National Partnership for Women and Families' document library and download the Expecting Better: State-by-State Analysis of Parental Leave Programs PDF. This report gives a helpful, state-by-state breakdown of job-protected leave.

Step three: Know your employer

Some employers have their own policies in place for parental leave. If you have an HR representative, she or he is the one to ask for a written copy of the policy. If you're working for a small company (i.e. one with no in-house HR rep), you probably have a better read on the getting-time-off situation at your workplace than anything any stranger on the Internet can tell you.

If you're an indepedent contractor, it comes down to "know your clients." Will they freak out if you can't redesign their website/ do their books/ review their trusts and deeds/ rewire their kitchen for a specific period? For you, negotiating leave is about managing a business relationship.

Step four: Now, it gets ugly

Because once you've determined you can take off [X] weeks without losing your job, it's time to see if you can take off [X] weeks without losing your house. Like it or not, the ability to take parental leave is linked to money.

My leave was a lovely little bubble where I was insulated from my "real" life and could adjust to the rigors of parenting without too many external pressures. But when there were paperwork bloopers with both my husband's paternal leave -- yes, in California, non-birthing parents get six weeks of paid leave -- and my maternity leave, the idea of having no income for a month while this was all sorted out was stressful.

Nobody needs financial stress during that period where you're subsisting on ninety-minute chunks of sleep and not entirely at your best. It is best to go into and through pregnancy with a clear of idea of how much time you can afford to take off and how you can afford it (i.e. by saving for it, cutting expenses, letting it ride on the Mastercard and hoping like hell to win the lottery, whatever).

Step five: Get it in writing

Always, always, always get your leave plans and approval in writing from your employers. This protects all of you later. Hell, spring for a notary if you have to.

Step six: Avoid talking to your Canadian, European, Australian, etc. friends while you're figuring all this out. You'll only cry in envy.

At least you can still hang with your friends from Papua New Guinea and Swaziland.

Comments

[ginger]

But those Lesothans, man, they just gloat.

[Uli]

I'm Australian, and here this issue is quite interesting. We have had, for a long time, guaranteed parental leave of 12 months. i.e. Your job must be kept for you for 12 months (which can be used by either mother or father or a combo of both over the 12 months). But that was unpaid.

The paid leave - paid by the government at the minimum wage for 18 weeks, not by your employer or at your normal wage - has only come in as of 1 Jan, and it's going to be very interesting as to how it works in practice and what difference it makes.

At least, however, it doesn't have the small business restrictions that you appear to have there.

[Terri Coles]

I have a hard time putting into words how flat-out wrong I find all this. I'm glad you live in Cali, Lisa.

[Courtney]

Can I add to that that dads need to use whatever leave their company provides? It's really stressful for men to take paternity leave right now because it's seen as something unusual. The only way to increase the number of employers offering it and ensure that dads really get to use it is to normalize it.

When my first baby was born, my husband went back 1 week later. I was left home alone with a newborn, a fresh csection, and a burgeoning bout of post-partum. There isn't a single picture of me for the first 2 months where I'm not crying. After my second, my husband took 2 months at home with me (between jobs, so unpaid), and it made a huge difference.

[Lisa S.]

Courtney, I am so with you. California gives dads leave too, and Phil took the full seven weeks (6 with the state, 1 with the company), and I believe it made a huge difference in helping us think of parenting as a team sport. The leave was good for each of us in learning to be a mom or dad, and for both of us in learning how to keep our marriage strong in the face of such a dramatic change in our daily life.

[amanda]

Oh, Courtney -- that makes me so sad!

Due to the timing of the birth around the holidays, my husband was able to take off about three weeks following the birth and then my mom was there for me when he started back to work and for a week after. I had a c-section, too, and I only started to begin to feel capable toward the end of my mom's visit. It made me think that so many cases of post-partum depression *must* originate with the overwhelmingness of caring for a newborn while recovering from a physically and mentally exhausting ordeal. It's not fair that women have to do this all alone.

On a side issue, my husband was talking about changing his workweek to four 10s and his previous boss was supportive of this. However, that guy got laid off and a few other people in his department got laid off or left and were not replaced and now he feels like he cannot ask for that change. This is how things are trending in my opinion -- pinched wages and even more dependence on the breadwinner not rocking the boat or switching jobs.

I feel like we've gone from lifelong work and pensions to lots of job hopping and random benefits to little freedom and minimal benefits. It's not sustainable. It's really bad for families.

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[Mom of Toddlers]

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[writing jobs]

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